3.5.14

Recovery // A letter to my body

It's safe to say that like a lot of people, I have felt very disconnected from my body for most of time.To me,my body has just been a jumble of mismatched parts that I've often said belong to different people.I've spent too much of time criticising and over thinking my appearance when in reality, I think most people are more concerned with their own lives and not my weight/hair/makeup.I had some therapy last year which I found really helpful in getting me to see things from a different perspective,and some exercises included writing to yourself and/or you body in order to address issues and learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.I'd thought I'd share with you a few of my "hang ups" and how I'm trying to turn my thoughts around.


















Dear eyes,

I'm sorry that you've cried so many times,I think I made you wake up too many mornings all bloodshot and grey,when you should of been glowing and full of life.I can't believe I used to go online and research coloured contacts so that I could be the perfect blue eyed blonde that I'd always wanted to be.It was with you that I got to experience my wedding and my newly improved life with all of the vibrancy that I had wished for ,and I'm forever grateful for that.I'm very lucky that you're in good health and I'm going to make sure that I look after you more.If I knew what eyeshadow to wear,I'd dress you up all the time! (I'm getting quite good at eyeliner flicks.)


































Dear Thighs,

I spent so many hours as a teenager Googling "thigh exercises" and using horrible 80's style exercise equipment like  thigh toners until exhaustion,in order to achieve the "perfect" thin legs.It was never enough though,I have a horrible memory of walking into my GCSE exams and people making comments about my "thunder thighs" and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.I'm so sorry that I tried to mould you to fit what other people told me you should be.It's only recently I've been able to wear shorts (albeit pyjama shorts at home!) but I'm getting comfortable with the idea that my thighs are great friends! 








Dear freckles,

I still remember how much it stung to cover you in lemon juice and hope that that I would wake up and you would be gone.Also why are you considered an "imperfection", along with stretchmarks,scars and blemishes?  (all of which I have or have had),it's easy to see why I've felt like I've been made entirely of flaws.I would painstakingly apply layers of foundation to you and pray that it stayed on day,only to be embarrassed if someone mentioned you.I think it didn't help that I didn't see other people with freckles growing up,but I was so inspired when the lovely Jade Thompson won BINTM! Now I try not to wear so much foundation and make sure to wear SPF so I don't burn (which would be constantly.)

I know some of these things might appear really insignificant,but I think we really look at ourselves under a scrutinising microscope sometimes and it's easy to not to see the bigger picture.I am not my eyes,thighs or freckles but I am a person who has dreams and ambitions and I'm not going to let how I feel about myself sometimes stop me from doing what I want all the time.

This has been very therapeutic! I'd love to hear anyone else's letters to their bodies.


*If you enjoy connecting with me and reading my posts,I would really appreciate any nominations for "Best Newcomer" in the Cosmo Blog Awards with Next *


                                  






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4 comments:

  1. jo3 May 2014 at 15:43

    This is actually beautiful. It makes me sad that people, especially young girls, struggle to love their body's and still look up to this impossible idealistic view of the way their body's should look. Thanks for sharing :)

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  2. Unknown3 May 2014 at 16:04

    Thank you for your kind words! I agree,it seems like it's only going to even harder for teenagers now.I definitely think body acceptance and a healthy relationship with food should be encouraged in schools and at home.xx

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  3. Anonymous7 May 2014 at 09:53

    This post makes me sad. I can relate to a lot of it. You have such beautiful eyes! and there's nothing thunderous about your thighs. I think ultimately a lot of us wish we looked like someone else, at least throughout our teens. I've become more accepting of myself in my 20s, but it is a work in progress. And freckles? They are not an imperfection, they are cute, and endearing, I know, I'm covered in them :) I'm glad you're starting to feel happier in yourself. I often think the people that make bitchy comments putting others down usually are unhappy with themselves and it's a way of making themselves feel better. This makes me feel sorry for them, and lessens the power of their comments (does that make sense?). Very brave, fabulous post xx

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  4. Unknown7 May 2014 at 17:15

    Thank you so much,you've really made me smile! In a way,it's sad that so many people can relate,I wander what the world would be like if everyone was taught to love their bodies? I'm definitely trying to remember that people saying negative things are usually trying to make themselves feel better & to not take it personally.It's funny how we can see so many imperfections in ourselves,yet others often see them as interesting quirks and/or attractive.I hope that more acceptance will come with age,it's just very hard to ignore the powers of the media! xx

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I love to hear from every one of you! I will always respond to every comment asap xo