Recovery // Generalised Anxiety FAQ & tips

[source]

As with any mental health problems,anxiety can take on many forms and be as complex as the sufferer. I've read so many inspiring stories on blogs recently that I thought I'd put together some information about my condition.Today I've decided to share my experiences with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (also known as GAD) and tips that I've been using to help keep it under control.Of course,I'm not a mental health professional,but I hope that by sharing my thoughts and advice I might help someone who is also struggling.If you are in any way having problems with your mental health,please visit your GP and/or confide in a trusted family member or friend.

What is Generalised Anxiety Disorder?

According to Anxiety UK,Generalised Anxiety Disorder is where the sufferer feels constantly anxious on a daily basis.Often called "chronic worriers",sufferers can be prone to thinking the worst is going to happen.

In my case,my worries are irrational and blown out of proportion.My mind makes up negative situations using "what if's" to keep me in a constant state of unease and worry.For the most part,my anxiety revolves around the thought that people are going to criticise me or shout at me.Also,being late,lack of sleep and large crowds can worsen my already anxious state.My thoughts often escalate out of control and I lose the ability to reason and make sense of the situation.


What are the symptoms of GAD?

This depends on the individual who may only have one or all of the following symptoms which can be physical and/or psychological.According to the NHS site,some of the symptoms include (but are not limited to);

•  Irregular heartbeat (palpitations)
• Sweating and shakiness
• Dizziness
• Feeling "on edge"
• Difficulty concentrating
• Problems sleeping
• Feeling sick
• Muscle aches
• Feeling tense
• Withdrawl from social contact
• Taking time of work/school due to stress

How do you manage your anxiety?

I've found it quite helpful to write down the dates and times of when I'm feeling anxious so that I can notice any patterns in my moods and try to make positive changes.For example,I know that catching a train is really hard for me,so I try to make the experience easier by standing by the door and always buying a ticket from the cashier not the machine.Also,if my anxiety is really getting out of hand I often repeat statements like "This is only temporary" and "I've done this before and I was OK" to reassure myself and keep myself focused and safe.Of course,seeking professional help and therapy if you're able to is always a healthy route to go down.

Have you received therapy?

Yes,I attended therapy for 5 months last year for anorexia and anxiety which I found very helpful in helping me figure out why I was using behaviours.I was given Dialectic Behaviour Therapy which is often used to help treat people with self harming behavior and/or people who can't control their emotions.I learnt breathing and other coping techniques that I've used during tough times.

What would you say to someone suffering from GAD (or any type of anxiety) ?

You're most definitely not alone! I know that having mental health problems can make you feel very isolated,but sadly disorders such as anxiety and depression are becoming all too common.I would 100% recommend going to speak to your GP who can provide you with the resources,insight and advice you might need.As great as medical professionals are,it's useful to build up a positive and encouraging support network who will understand if you need to take some "me" time.Don't feel guilty if you need to take some time out,your mental health comes first as it affects everything from your relationships,body and mind.

I've found some useful helplines,guides and tips on everything anxiety

No Panic :- helpline that offers support to those suffering with anxiety,OCD,panic and phobias.
Anxiety UK FAQ :- useful information and statistics on what anxiety is and how it affects the body

Moodjuice  :-Anxiety self help guide to help you identify feelings and symptoms
NHS UK :- information and self assessments from the NHS to help sufferers.

I hope this helps someone who might be suffering with their mental health,and I'd be more than happy to listen to any problems you have.Please feel free to email me over at whimsicalmrsw@outlook.com.


What tips do you have to manage anxiety?

Recovery // How to handle diet talk

Did you know that research suggests that women can spend 18.9 years of their lives on diets? (source) So it's only inevitable that eventually someone is going to tell you about their latest weight loss plan in great detail.I think it's become so ingrained in our society now that it's considered normal and healthy to diet.Talking about weight loss has become a way for people to bond,and nothing unites people faster than a shared struggle.However as a person in recovery,I could do without hearing about how "bad" you were when you ate that cupcake.Of course I don't blame people for talking about their diets,they offer the exciting prospect that when you finish them you'll be thin and gorgeous,it doesn't work like that but I have no room to talk! I'm trying to learn that my life should be about exploring opportunities and ideas and not getting caught up in what other's are doing.I completely support people's right to do what they want with their own bodies and lives,but I'm talking about how to avoid and handle the often non stop chatter surrounding it.

1. Remove yourself from the situation

I know this isn't always possible,but if you're able to it's a good idea to try and move away from certain conversations.Protecting your mental health and/or recovery is more important,and if you feel like certain people or discussions are affecting that then some time by yourself might be helpful.I try to find a hobby to pass some time until I feel more comfortable,blogging is such a great way to vent! Other ideas might be listening to music,tidying up or watching cat videos on Youtube (would recommend.)

2. Change the subject

If you're not able to go somewhere else,subtly changing the conversation to another subject can really help shift things towards a more positive direction.For example if someone says "urgh I shouldn't have eaten that burger at McDonald's,I'm so fat" you could say "I thought it looked quite nice,did you see (insert name) there? I find that if you mention another aspect of their evening/outfit/food or whatever they're talking about the diet talk often ends there.

3. Be understanding

These days talking about dieting and weight loss is as common as discussing the weather,and you can see why in today's society.The constant sexualisation and objectification of women in adverts can really distort what both sexes think is the right way for a body to look.Of course,all sorts of mental health problems and/or unhealthy behaviour can come from not being able to match up to these standards.Diet propaganda is displayed on our TV's and magazines 24/7 and there's never a break from it,so you can understand why some people may be swept away with the idea that they too can be the "perfect ideal".Whether or not you agree with their diet,you probably know what it's like to feel insecure so a quick "I'm always here if you need to talk" might go a long way.

4. Talk to them

Sometimes people can be oblivious to what they're saying and how it can affect other people,it's quite easy for people to get wrapped up in their little bubble! If it's really getting to you,having a quick word with them could make all the difference.Something like "I'm trying to change my mindset and learn to accept my body without dieting,I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention your diet all the time." Making sure that you're honest and open with them is definitely the right way to go,seeing as that's what all good friendships should be based on!

I've found these ways of dealing with diet talk really effective,obviously you can't censor people and their going to say what they want to,but that doesn't mean you can't say how you feel or have to be in a negative atmosphere.



Do you have any tips to deal with diet talk?

Recovery // How to stop weighing yourself.

 via WeHeart It

For years,every morning before I did anything else I would step on the scales like I was consulting a crystal ball."What will my weight be?" and "Will I have a good day today?" ran through my head and those numbers would too for the whole day.My food choices would be affected too,if I went up a pound that must of been because of that nice meal I had last week so I would cut down my intake "just in case".I know not everybody develops Eating Disorders but it's so easy to let that number rule your mind and the relationship you have with your body.Although in some medical circumstances having a Doctor weigh you may be necessary,I think it's best to avoid it as much as possible.Weighing yourself can't really tell you much about your health,it can't tell you about who you are as a person and it certainly isn't a marker for how good or bad you're day is going to be.I think using a scale can sometimes disconnect yourself for your body and base it all around numbers when you are so much more than that. Admittedly I still do slip up sometimes,but I've put together some tips that I've found helpful.


1.I try to keep the scales hidden because then I'm much less likely to get on them.It's a simple case of "out of sight out of mind" but more often than not I find that by the time I think about getting on them, I'm already doing something.If this is too hard to for you to do right now,I'd suggest getting someone you trust to remove them for a while.

2.Wear clothes that you feel comfortable and nice in.If you grab those jeans from the back of the wardrobe (that you know don't fit) it can be all too tempting to step on the scales in order to confirm what you feel about yourself.

3. Realise that your weight isn't necessarily an indicator of your health or well being.People of all sizes can be healthy,chronically ill or anything in between,and they're all worthy of feeling good and happy in themselves.Focus on what your body can do,no matter how small that seems.

4.The scales can't tell you anything but a number.The people in your life are going to know a great deal more about you than a machine.If you're struggling with how you feel then I've found that talking to someone you can trust really helps.I've just said "I'm feeling really conscious about my weight and it sucks" and it's surprising how nice it feels to offload and share your problems with others.

5.Learn to accept that your body is in a constant state of change.In just one day your body is already regenerating and changing in small ways.Natural changes that occur in the body during ageing,pregnancy or illness are likely to affect your weight in someway,so find healthy coping mechanisms to deal with this like practising self care and building positive relationships.


I'm still working on this but telling myself these things regularly is really helping me to change my mindset and keep myself focused on what I want to achieve,which is a healthy view of myself and my body.It might take a while but I've got no doubt it's worth it.I know lots of other people have the same problem too,so I hope you've found this helpful.

What tips do you have to help stay off the scales?

Fashion // Stripes & Jeans OOTD

This is a very exciting post for me to write because it involves getting out of my comfort zone and facing some body issues! I haven't worn jeans for around 9 years,and each pair I've owned in the past have been filled with memories of me starving and unrealistic expectations.I must have walked in and out of Primark two or three times before deciding to pick these jeans up,but I decided that I have to challenge myself so that I can continue to tackle any negative thoughts!

Stripey Boyfriend Top £3

Black "push up & pull in" skinny jeans £13

Black leather bag £12

Brogues £10

All Primark

Now I know that this stripes and black combo isn't going to win any creative fashion prizes,but I'm really enjoy the monochrome look at the moment,and I'm trying to channel my inner French woman.I'm not used to wearing jeans,so I feel like my legs  look like sausages busting out of their casing,but they are actually quite comfortable.They feel really well made and I'm sure they'll be a feature of many future outfits.I love the slouchy cut of this top and it'd be perfect for dressing up or down.

I'm finding it quite hard to accept my shape in jeans because I often wear dresses or other loose clothing,but I have to realise that I am normal.Some people are a size 6 and some are a size 36,but everyone deserves to be included in fashion and feel good.This outfit has definitely inspired me to be more bold with my clothing choices and break out of my comfort zone every now and again!

What clothes do you wear when you're trying to shake things up?

*If you enjoy connecting with me and reading my posts,I would really appreciate any nominations for "Best Newcomer" in the Cosmo Blog Awards with Next *

Recovery // A letter to my body

It's safe to say that like a lot of people, I have felt very disconnected from my body for most of time.To me,my body has just been a jumble of mismatched parts that I've often said belong to different people.I've spent too much of time criticising and over thinking my appearance when in reality, I think most people are more concerned with their own lives and not my weight/hair/makeup.I had some therapy last year which I found really helpful in getting me to see things from a different perspective,and some exercises included writing to yourself and/or you body in order to address issues and learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.I'd thought I'd share with you a few of my "hang ups" and how I'm trying to turn my thoughts around.

Dear eyes,

I'm sorry that you've cried so many times,I think I made you wake up too many mornings all bloodshot and grey,when you should of been glowing and full of life.I can't believe I used to go online and research coloured contacts so that I could be the perfect blue eyed blonde that I'd always wanted to be.It was with you that I got to experience my wedding and my newly improved life with all of the vibrancy that I had wished for ,and I'm forever grateful for that.I'm very lucky that you're in good health and I'm going to make sure that I look after you more.If I knew what eyeshadow to wear,I'd dress you up all the time! (I'm getting quite good at eyeliner flicks.)

Dear Thighs,

I spent so many hours as a teenager Googling "thigh exercises" and using horrible 80's style exercise equipment like  thigh toners until exhaustion,in order to achieve the "perfect" thin legs.It was never enough though,I have a horrible memory of walking into my GCSE exams and people making comments about my "thunder thighs" and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.I'm so sorry that I tried to mould you to fit what other people told me you should be.It's only recently I've been able to wear shorts (albeit pyjama shorts at home!) but I'm getting comfortable with the idea that my thighs are great friends! 

Dear freckles,

I still remember how much it stung to cover you in lemon juice and hope that that I would wake up and you would be gone.Also why are you considered an "imperfection", along with stretchmarks,scars and blemishes?  (all of which I have or have had),it's easy to see why I've felt like I've been made entirely of flaws.I would painstakingly apply layers of foundation to you and pray that it stayed on day,only to be embarrassed if someone mentioned you.I think it didn't help that I didn't see other people with freckles growing up,but I was so inspired when the lovely Jade Thompson won BINTM! Now I try not to wear so much foundation and make sure to wear SPF so I don't burn (which would be constantly.)

I know some of these things might appear really insignificant,but I think we really look at ourselves under a scrutinising microscope sometimes and it's easy to not to see the bigger picture.I am not my eyes,thighs or freckles but I am a person who has dreams and ambitions and I'm not going to let how I feel about myself sometimes stop me from doing what I want all the time.

This has been very therapeutic! I'd love to hear anyone else's letters to their bodies.

*If you enjoy connecting with me and reading my posts,I would really appreciate any nominations for "Best Newcomer" in the Cosmo Blog Awards with Next *

                                  

Recovery // Why you should stop counting calories

via Pinterest

*Trigger warning for talk of Eating disorders and weight (numbers included)*

As I'm sat here typing this, I'm eating a bagel covered in Peanut Butter and Strawberry jam.This is an everyday occurrence now,but this time 14 months ago (in the beginning of my recovery) I would weigh and calculate every morsel of food.I remember using the scale to weigh lettuce and having to check it repeatedly to make sure it was accurate.My history with calorie counting is far too lengthy to talk about in this post,but I thought I would share my experiences with you.I know it can be hard when you always hear people say "urgh this is so bad , it has x/y/z calories".You can't really blame people though,magazines are covered in eye catching titles claiming that the latest celebrity is so much happier and healthier on this diet that has a 99% chance of being restrictive.I thought I'd share with you my tips on how you can move toward a more natural and way less stressful relationship with food.

1.Buy food that doesn't show calorie information! I think I had some bakery bread in the freezer for 6 months because I was too scared to eat it.However,since recovery I have been able to expand my cooking knowledge and try out some wonderful new food.I like to think of it as experiencing food like a child would,they enjoy all the colours,flavours and textures that their meals have to offer without judgement or attaching labels.

2.If you struggle with associating calories and how many you have with guilt and other negative feelings,I have some really helpful affirmations that help me get through my emotions.

"I trust my body"

"500 years ago people didn't count calories and they were absolutely fine!"

"I am allowed to enjoy this food and nourish my body"

"I am feeling sad/guilty/anxious and that's OK and it will pass"

"I am trying to create a healthier relationship with myself and food"

3.Try to get out of the mindset that low calorie=healthy and high calorie=unhealthy.Foods like Peanut Butter (one of the foods I really struggled with),Olive Oil and some fish contain high levels of fats that are great for brain function and skin. Whereas lots of low fat or sugar substitutes often contain more additives so that it appealing and tastes nice.Having a good mix of everything is often the best way to make sure that you're eating well.

4.Listening to your body is one of the greatest tools in stopping calorie counting.Learning to recognise hunger and fullness signals (especially when you have disordered eating) can be very difficult.However,this is a learning process.Initially I had to count calories to make sure I was eating enough but when I reached a healthy weight my body was able to tell me what it needed more reliably.There is no shame in eating when you're hungry.There is no shame in eating full stop.

5.This leads me on to my next point, making sure you eat regularly.Not eating often enough can often leave people quite irritable and it can mess up your hunger signals.I always eat 3 meals and 2 snacks,but whatever works for you is great! Make time for food and enjoy getting to know your body and what it wants (you might learn something new.)

For me,when I was restricting my food intake,other areas of my life also became limited.Therefore,it would make sense that when those rules slowly became lifted,I was able to experience life much more vividly.I understand that everyone's lives are different,but I really hope this helps or at least makes you think about calories and your relationship with them.After all,there are much more important things to worry about.

Do you count calories? Let me know your opinions and experiences! 

Recovery // Tumblr thinspo debunked

*Trigger warning for photographs & discussion of Eating Disorders/weight*

I love Tumblr as much as the next person.It's a great place to get style inspiration,read interesting stories and catch up with friends.However scroll a little further and you'll notice a few photographs that aren't all they seem.Thinspo or "thinspiration" is defined as "photographs or other material intended to provide inspiration for Anorexia as a lifestyle choice".I can't even begin to discuss how angry these make me! I think they are really toxic and do nothing to break the stereotype that eating disorders are only experienced by thin white women.Please note,I have nothing against any body type,we are all worthy of feeling pretty and special whether we are fat,thin or anything in between.The problem I have is with the media and "pro ana" supporters promoting negative self talk and diets.

Lots of these images were inspired by this (in) famous Kate Moss quote.

via Tumblr

This quote always makes me think.Personally when I reached my "goal weight" I didn't even care about how being skinny felt.I couldn't feel! Also I think that lots of things taste better than being skinny.Freedom from self hatred and a healthy relationship with food taste 1000x better than skinny could ever feel.

via Tumblr

I hate this kind of faux motivational BS.Your stomach doesn't even know what applauding is.It's very easy to lose sight of the actual science when you're faced with these so called "inspirational" images.Not only do these images shame any body type that doesn't fit this "ideal" that is generated by the media,it also shames people for feeling one of the most primal instincts,hunger.

via Tumblr

Urgh I don't even know where to start with this.I hate the ignorance that Tumblr and the media display,they seem to think that Anorexia is a diet that can be picked up and dropped as they wish.Also, drinking only Diet Cokes and coffee whilst smoking cigarettes will not turn you into a fragile little Effy Stonem clone.It will make you tired,depressed and resentful.Pretty girls are made of determination,strength and happiness!

One thing I have noticed is that pro-ana and "thinspo" messages definitely prey on the vulnerable and try to either shame them into feeling inadequate, or post motivational quotes saying that they too could be just like this! They sell dieting and weight loss as the answer to everything.Don't like yourself? Lose weight.Want that boy to notice you? Slim down.It's just another form of advertising for a lifestyle that isn't attainable,we shouldn't treat it any different to the more obvious advertising.The only difference is that thinspo is made in people's bedrooms and not boardrooms. 

To counteract all of this negativity I created my own "Anti-thinspo" photo.

 I know that people are more aware of these materials now,and they are slowly being taken down.If you do see anything that you are concerned about then I would report the content to the admins of the website.I hope this has helped put things in to perspective a little more,it's amazing how little people can think of how a few words can affect people so much.


Have you ever come across anything pro-ana related? What did you think?

Recovery // Anxiety affirmations & tips

via Pinterest

Anxiety disorders are unfortunately very common,with 1 in 6 people in the UK experiencing them in their lifetimes.How they affect people varies as much as the people themselves,mental health doesn't discriminate.If you have any concerns about your well-being,please don't hesitate to visit your GP.

There are different types of Anxiety disorder,such as Social Anxiety Disorder,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalised Anxiety disorder to name only a few.I suffer from the latter which means that I worry obsessively about the future and find it hard to make decisions.I also struggle with appointments and using the phone (I hate going to the Doctors!)

Some symptoms of Anxiety can include;

• a sense of dread
• shortness of breath / heart palpitations
• headaches
• irritability
• irrational thoughts
• feeling like you're having a heart attack or "going crazy"

Whenever I feel extremely anxious (e.g important phone calls) I have heart palpitations,my hands shake and my chest becomes very painful.I also find it hard to get my words out and I can jumble sentences up.Everybody experiences symptoms differently though,so there is no right or wrong way.

I know that people telling you to "calm down" definitely doesn't work so I've put together some great tips and affirmations that have helped me in difficult situations.

Affirmations

"Nothing can hurt me right now"

Reassuring yourself that you are safe from harm can really decrease anxious feelings.If you can,try to move yourself to a more comforting environment.

"I accept that I feel anxious and it will pass"

Acknowledge your emotions and realising that it won't last forever can be very comforting.

"I am in control" or "I can do this"

Help yourself to feel powerful.Even when you're feeling scared and anxious,positive statements will help to counteract the anxiety.Also,it can do wonders for your self esteem!

Top tips for Anxiety

1. Breathe! When you're heart is racing and your mind is running away with you,it's easy to lose control of your breathing.Long and deep breaths can really help keep your symptoms in check and help you to accomplish your tasks.

     2. Feel the room around you.Touching your surroundings can help you focus on the reality and ground      your thoughts in the present.I like to touch the seat that I'm sat on and try to notice what's around me.

     3.Keep a journal.This is why blogging is great! If that's not your thing,keeping a journal where you can write your thoughts and experiences with anxiety can be really help you notice patterns in your behaviour and emotions.

    

      4.Question the worries in your head. Are they irrational or irrational? If you can solve the problem think of ways to achieve this (ask for help if you need to.) If you can't then try to accept that you can't change the outcome.

      5.Get enough sleep.A good nights sleep can go a long way to helping you feel more refreshed,focused and at ease.I know if I don't get enough sleep,my anxiety levels definitely increase.

I really hope that anyone that  is suffering or has suffered with anxiety feels safe in the knowledge that they are not alone! I often experience unpleasant symptoms still,but by managing them effectively I can get through the day a little easier.

Do you have any advice to people experiencing anxiety?

Recovery // Positive body image affirmations

Positive affirmations are a big part of my daily life.If I didn't do them I don't think I would be able to look in the mirror.Looking in the mirror is a big struggle when you don't believe you match up to societies impossible standards.Girls as young as 5 and 6 are becoming increasingly concerned about their weight and appearance.It's getting just as bad for men too,there are plenty of adverts shaming men for not being the muscular Action Man types that the media hound them with everyday.To try and ground myself in the reality and gain some perspective,these affirmations really help me to create a more positive atmosphere.

1. "I deserve to take up space in the world"

I believe this is a quote from the Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This is a great affirmation to say when you are feeling helpless or unimportant.You can be vast and brilliant and you deserve to be here as much as anyone else.

2. "I am worthy of love."

This one has helped me through some very tough times.You are worthy of love no matter who you are or where you come from.Love isn't just reserved for the successful,the healthy or the rich.

3. "Fat isn't a bad word."

You hear so many people saying "Does this make me look fat?" and the other person will say "no, you look beautiful not fat".Why can't they be both? Fat is whispered in hushed tones and shouted as taunts and I think it's unnecessary.You can be fat,you can be thin,or you can be anything in between.If you're healthy and happy then that's great.Actually,even if you're not healthy,you're still wonderful and deserve everything you could want!

4. " It is okay for me to love myself."

It isn't vain or self absorbed to love yourself and your body.You are capable of great things and that should be celebrated! When we start dictating our happiness and not the media,true acceptance of ourselves and others will come.

5."Thank you (body part) for doing (whatever they do.)"

I know this sounds funny but I find this really helpful.Thank your legs for carrying you everywhere.Thank your eyes for seeing what the world has to offer.Your body is going to be with you your whole life,so learning to honour and respect it can only improve your relationship with yourself!

Although it takes time,I definitely think these affirmations are really useful in helping to improve your body image.I like to say some when I'm getting ready in the morning,it's a great way to set myself up for the day!

I'd love to know if anyone else has any affirmations they use.Let me know!

Recovery // Positive meal time affirmations

This isn't a subject I have touched on yet,but thanks to the wonderful community here, I feel like I am able to talk about it.I am in recovery for Anorexia and I have been for around a year now.It has been incredibly hard and only recently have I addressed the reasons behind my disordered behavior.I would like to mention that I am fully physically recovered which I am extremely happy about after 7 years! I will do a more in depth post about this,but I know that in my experience, it is incredibly hard to make healthy choices for yourself when the media constantly bombard us with images of "perfection" and the idea that what you eat is somehow linked to your morality.

How many times do you hear people say "Oh,I shouldn't have eaten that!" or "I'm being naughty today"? If you walk down any street you're bound to hear people throw around these statements that are full of blame and guilt.It definitely doesn't encourage a healthy relationship with food and I have said these too! It seems like especially for women, we are made to feel ashamed of enjoying food.I sometimes feel like this is a type of oppression,but that's another issue!

I often like to write down positive food affirmations that I repeat inside my head to help solidify the beliefs I have learnt during recovery.In today's diet culture I think this would be really beneficial to everyone.

The ones pictured are brilliant at helping me look at things from a more logical perspective,I also like the following to keep me focused and in the right mindset.

"Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes"
"I can eat without shame"

My personal favourite is  "strength and control come from exercising my personal power in the world,not from what I eat".Once we distance ourselves from tying our self worth and emotions to food,I think that's where real changes can be made! Everyone is worthy of loving themselves and being loved by others,regardless of their weight.

Has the diet industry affected you? What positive things do you tell yourself?