Recovery // Positive body image affirmations

Positive affirmations are a big part of my daily life.If I didn't do them I don't think I would be able to look in the mirror.Looking in the mirror is a big struggle when you don't believe you match up to societies impossible standards.Girls as young as 5 and 6 are becoming increasingly concerned about their weight and appearance.It's getting just as bad for men too,there are plenty of adverts shaming men for not being the muscular Action Man types that the media hound them with everyday.To try and ground myself in the reality and gain some perspective,these affirmations really help me to create a more positive atmosphere.

1. "I deserve to take up space in the world"

I believe this is a quote from the Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This is a great affirmation to say when you are feeling helpless or unimportant.You can be vast and brilliant and you deserve to be here as much as anyone else.

2. "I am worthy of love."

This one has helped me through some very tough times.You are worthy of love no matter who you are or where you come from.Love isn't just reserved for the successful,the healthy or the rich.

3. "Fat isn't a bad word."

You hear so many people saying "Does this make me look fat?" and the other person will say "no, you look beautiful not fat".Why can't they be both? Fat is whispered in hushed tones and shouted as taunts and I think it's unnecessary.You can be fat,you can be thin,or you can be anything in between.If you're healthy and happy then that's great.Actually,even if you're not healthy,you're still wonderful and deserve everything you could want!

4. " It is okay for me to love myself."

It isn't vain or self absorbed to love yourself and your body.You are capable of great things and that should be celebrated! When we start dictating our happiness and not the media,true acceptance of ourselves and others will come.

5."Thank you (body part) for doing (whatever they do.)"

I know this sounds funny but I find this really helpful.Thank your legs for carrying you everywhere.Thank your eyes for seeing what the world has to offer.Your body is going to be with you your whole life,so learning to honour and respect it can only improve your relationship with yourself!

Although it takes time,I definitely think these affirmations are really useful in helping to improve your body image.I like to say some when I'm getting ready in the morning,it's a great way to set myself up for the day!

I'd love to know if anyone else has any affirmations they use.Let me know!

Anorexia and Me: Q&A

I've been wanting to write some more about my struggles with Anorexia,but I didn't know where to start so I thought do a little Q&A.It's a pretty intense subject but I thought it would be a great way to let you in on a little bit of my life.Just a side note, if you find the talk of weight or eating disorders triggering to any mental health problems you may have,please proceed with caution.

I chose the above picture because it was taken last August when I became fully physically recovered from Anorexia.When I restricted,I would never let myself enjoy a sunny day and I had so much fun!


How old where you when you began restricting food?

I was 14 and at Secondary school.I was a healthy weight with a BMI of about 23,but I had a school trip abroad coming up and I wanted to look my best.As other girls at school were doing the same,I thought it would be a great idea to eat a little healthier and starting cutting down my food intake.

What triggered your Eating Disorder/disordered behaviours?

I've always felt inadequate.I feel bad admitting this,but when I'd see all of the popular girls eating something "unhealthy", for a moment I would be better than them.For a moment I would feel like someone.Also,most of my family are women so the diet talk was inevitable.It seemed like my family condoned my behaviour,and they would always complement my "wonderful figure".It took me years to realise I was worth more than my appearance.The abusive relationship I was in at 16 didn't do much for my self esteem either, I felt like everyone was watching me self destruct.

Why did it spiral out of control?

I lost a little bit of weight from healthy eating, but that wasn't enough.Every time I stepped on the scale I was happy for about 0.5 seconds,and then came the plans for more weight loss,I needed to lose more.I began exercising obsessively.I remember buying an exercise bike and pedaling so fast that my legs felt like they were going to collapse underneath me.On top of that I was only eating one or maybe two tiny meals a day.I had dozens of diaries that should have been filled with memories of friends and summer holidays,but instead sums and numbers of every bite of food was carefully logged and recalculated.I never ate more than 1000 calories a day.Constant fights with my Mum over tea were becoming normal.I wasn't underweight at this point but I was suffering.It goes to show that you don't have to be underweight to feel the side effects,as I was constantly in a zombie like state and getting weaker by the day,both physically and mentally.

When did you get diagnosed with Anorexia?

The 10th of January 2013.I'll never forget that day as long as I live.My now husband begged me for weeks to go to the Doctors,by this point I was at least a stone underweight.I didn't think anything was wrong.I remember saying "It's no big deal,it's only a diet".Except I had been on a diet for 7 years.I had never realised until that day that that wasn't normal.When the Doctor confirmed I had Anorexia, I just laughed.I couldn't believe it, and I was utterly terrified at even the thought of gaining weight.

What treatment did  you receive to help you recover?

Last year I attended a 20 week course of DBT or Dialetical Behavior Therapy which is designed for people to help take control of their emotions and move towards  a more positive coping mechanism.I regularly went to the Doctors so they could monitor me and check my bloods (I hated that!) I also had to eat regularly and this was the hard part.I had some days where I'd just cry through every meal,knowing that this was the only choice I had.It did get easier as I began reaching a healthier weight,probably due to the fact that my brain could work properly!

How are you now?

I am amazing! I have been completely free from any negative behaviours since August last year! I still have horrible days,but I find much more comfort in communicating with people than I do restricting now.I'd never thought I would be able to even have one day with precisely counting every calorie.Now I eat regularly and don't cut out any food groups! Also,I don't have any more physical symptoms from my eating disorder,I practically walked out unscathed and I am incredibly lucky.The pain of recovery was completely and 100% worth it.

I often feel so sad when I think about the experiences I've missed out on because of my disorder.I have accepted that I'm allowed to grieve that time,but I have the power to decide what my future is going to be.

I definitely think people would find it easier to start recovery if society didn't have the wrong preconceptions about mental health and eating disorders.

Anorexics aren't vain or stupid and bulimics aren't lazy or greedy.Eating disorders in all their forms aren't just black and white,but various shades of grey.People who are suffering need building up and supporting not mocking and belittling.

If you have any more questions,feel free to ask. I know it's a tough subject,but it's experienced by so many people that I'd love to be able to help.Obviously,if you are concerned about yourself of someone else,then I would advise seeking medical advice from your GP.I'm going to be writing more about Mental health on here,so watch this space!


What topics would you like to discuss with me next?

Recovery // Positive meal time affirmations

This isn't a subject I have touched on yet,but thanks to the wonderful community here, I feel like I am able to talk about it.I am in recovery for Anorexia and I have been for around a year now.It has been incredibly hard and only recently have I addressed the reasons behind my disordered behavior.I would like to mention that I am fully physically recovered which I am extremely happy about after 7 years! I will do a more in depth post about this,but I know that in my experience, it is incredibly hard to make healthy choices for yourself when the media constantly bombard us with images of "perfection" and the idea that what you eat is somehow linked to your morality.

How many times do you hear people say "Oh,I shouldn't have eaten that!" or "I'm being naughty today"? If you walk down any street you're bound to hear people throw around these statements that are full of blame and guilt.It definitely doesn't encourage a healthy relationship with food and I have said these too! It seems like especially for women, we are made to feel ashamed of enjoying food.I sometimes feel like this is a type of oppression,but that's another issue!

I often like to write down positive food affirmations that I repeat inside my head to help solidify the beliefs I have learnt during recovery.In today's diet culture I think this would be really beneficial to everyone.

The ones pictured are brilliant at helping me look at things from a more logical perspective,I also like the following to keep me focused and in the right mindset.

"Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes"
"I can eat without shame"

My personal favourite is  "strength and control come from exercising my personal power in the world,not from what I eat".Once we distance ourselves from tying our self worth and emotions to food,I think that's where real changes can be made! Everyone is worthy of loving themselves and being loved by others,regardless of their weight.

Has the diet industry affected you? What positive things do you tell yourself?