Recovery // A letter to my body

It's safe to say that like a lot of people, I have felt very disconnected from my body for most of time.To me,my body has just been a jumble of mismatched parts that I've often said belong to different people.I've spent too much of time criticising and over thinking my appearance when in reality, I think most people are more concerned with their own lives and not my weight/hair/makeup.I had some therapy last year which I found really helpful in getting me to see things from a different perspective,and some exercises included writing to yourself and/or you body in order to address issues and learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.I'd thought I'd share with you a few of my "hang ups" and how I'm trying to turn my thoughts around.

Dear eyes,

I'm sorry that you've cried so many times,I think I made you wake up too many mornings all bloodshot and grey,when you should of been glowing and full of life.I can't believe I used to go online and research coloured contacts so that I could be the perfect blue eyed blonde that I'd always wanted to be.It was with you that I got to experience my wedding and my newly improved life with all of the vibrancy that I had wished for ,and I'm forever grateful for that.I'm very lucky that you're in good health and I'm going to make sure that I look after you more.If I knew what eyeshadow to wear,I'd dress you up all the time! (I'm getting quite good at eyeliner flicks.)

Dear Thighs,

I spent so many hours as a teenager Googling "thigh exercises" and using horrible 80's style exercise equipment like  thigh toners until exhaustion,in order to achieve the "perfect" thin legs.It was never enough though,I have a horrible memory of walking into my GCSE exams and people making comments about my "thunder thighs" and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.I'm so sorry that I tried to mould you to fit what other people told me you should be.It's only recently I've been able to wear shorts (albeit pyjama shorts at home!) but I'm getting comfortable with the idea that my thighs are great friends! 

Dear freckles,

I still remember how much it stung to cover you in lemon juice and hope that that I would wake up and you would be gone.Also why are you considered an "imperfection", along with stretchmarks,scars and blemishes?  (all of which I have or have had),it's easy to see why I've felt like I've been made entirely of flaws.I would painstakingly apply layers of foundation to you and pray that it stayed on day,only to be embarrassed if someone mentioned you.I think it didn't help that I didn't see other people with freckles growing up,but I was so inspired when the lovely Jade Thompson won BINTM! Now I try not to wear so much foundation and make sure to wear SPF so I don't burn (which would be constantly.)

I know some of these things might appear really insignificant,but I think we really look at ourselves under a scrutinising microscope sometimes and it's easy to not to see the bigger picture.I am not my eyes,thighs or freckles but I am a person who has dreams and ambitions and I'm not going to let how I feel about myself sometimes stop me from doing what I want all the time.

This has been very therapeutic! I'd love to hear anyone else's letters to their bodies.

*If you enjoy connecting with me and reading my posts,I would really appreciate any nominations for "Best Newcomer" in the Cosmo Blog Awards with Next *

                                  

Recovery // Positive body image affirmations

Positive affirmations are a big part of my daily life.If I didn't do them I don't think I would be able to look in the mirror.Looking in the mirror is a big struggle when you don't believe you match up to societies impossible standards.Girls as young as 5 and 6 are becoming increasingly concerned about their weight and appearance.It's getting just as bad for men too,there are plenty of adverts shaming men for not being the muscular Action Man types that the media hound them with everyday.To try and ground myself in the reality and gain some perspective,these affirmations really help me to create a more positive atmosphere.

1. "I deserve to take up space in the world"

I believe this is a quote from the Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This is a great affirmation to say when you are feeling helpless or unimportant.You can be vast and brilliant and you deserve to be here as much as anyone else.

2. "I am worthy of love."

This one has helped me through some very tough times.You are worthy of love no matter who you are or where you come from.Love isn't just reserved for the successful,the healthy or the rich.

3. "Fat isn't a bad word."

You hear so many people saying "Does this make me look fat?" and the other person will say "no, you look beautiful not fat".Why can't they be both? Fat is whispered in hushed tones and shouted as taunts and I think it's unnecessary.You can be fat,you can be thin,or you can be anything in between.If you're healthy and happy then that's great.Actually,even if you're not healthy,you're still wonderful and deserve everything you could want!

4. " It is okay for me to love myself."

It isn't vain or self absorbed to love yourself and your body.You are capable of great things and that should be celebrated! When we start dictating our happiness and not the media,true acceptance of ourselves and others will come.

5."Thank you (body part) for doing (whatever they do.)"

I know this sounds funny but I find this really helpful.Thank your legs for carrying you everywhere.Thank your eyes for seeing what the world has to offer.Your body is going to be with you your whole life,so learning to honour and respect it can only improve your relationship with yourself!

Although it takes time,I definitely think these affirmations are really useful in helping to improve your body image.I like to say some when I'm getting ready in the morning,it's a great way to set myself up for the day!

I'd love to know if anyone else has any affirmations they use.Let me know!