Lifestyle // 20 reasons why I'm a feminist

Source

I've been following the #YesAllWomen tag on Twitter recently,and it's full of reasons confirming why I am a Feminist.It's been very enlightening, but also very sad to read the experiences of Women all around the world.The word "Feminism" can certainly conjure up the dated stereotype of "bra burning man hater",but there is no way to identify a feminist based on looks.People of all ages,races and backgrounds support and hold up the beliefs that Feminism fights for.The definition of Feminism according to the Oxford English Dictionary is "the advocacy of Women's rights on the grounds of equality of the sexes",but I think Queen Bey sums it up quite well too.Equality to me is the main focus.I believe that all genders deserve to have control of their bodies,and should be able to live and voice their opinions without fear.

I'm a Feminist because...

1. The Gender Pay Gap in the UK for 2013 was 19.7%. (source)
2. When someone  says "you fight/act like a girl" it's seen as an insult. 
3. Because 30% of the female UK population has suffered domestic violence. (source)
4. This video highlights how men can be victims of abuse too,but they often don't get taken seriously. (source)
5. Because women have been asked in interviews "do you intend to have children?"
6. Often a women who has had lots of sex is a "slut" whereas a man is praised.
7. Women are often taught that they should see other females as competition ("I'm not like other girls") rather than holding each other up and supporting one another.
8. I have been refused a job because "I wouldn't be able to lift things",even though I fit the job description.
9. According to this survey,35% of male college students admitted they would commit rape if they knew they could get away with it.(source) 
10. Because men are often made to feel ashamed for enjoying "feminine" hobbies and showing emotion.
11. Because women are often made to feel ashamed for being "unladylike", or pursuing traditionally masculine careers.
12. Unnecessarily Gendered Products (source)
13. Single mothers are often portrayed by the media as "desperate" and relying on benefits,whereas single Dads are praised for "doing so well with them".
14. If a man chooses to be a stay at home Dad,he is often questioned and made to feel less "manly".
15. Schools put tougher restrictions on what the girls wear,to make sure  that they don't arrive in "inappropriate" clothing which may affect the boy's attention.
16. There are still countries that don't allow women have an abortion,except in life threatening cases.In my opinion, all women should have the reproductive right to a safe and legal abortion free from shame and discrimination,if they choose to.
17.  There are people in the world who think that women owe them a smile or sexual favours.
18. Women are still encouraged to stick together on a night out for safety.
19. There are 33 states in the US where it is possible to be fired from your job for being gay or transgendered. (source)
20. Over 20,000 girls are at risk from Female Genital Mutilation in the UK.This practice is illegal over here,but many young women are taken abroad for the procedure. (source)

You're a star if you've managed to read all this! I felt really inspired by all of the strong people who are taking a stand against negativity and injustice in the world.Sadly,it would be very naive of me to expect people to be treated equally any time soon,but I love that people are more willing to challenge stereotypes and voice their opinions now.

Do you identify as a Feminist? I'd love to hear your opinions

Recovery // A letter to my body

It's safe to say that like a lot of people, I have felt very disconnected from my body for most of time.To me,my body has just been a jumble of mismatched parts that I've often said belong to different people.I've spent too much of time criticising and over thinking my appearance when in reality, I think most people are more concerned with their own lives and not my weight/hair/makeup.I had some therapy last year which I found really helpful in getting me to see things from a different perspective,and some exercises included writing to yourself and/or you body in order to address issues and learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.I'd thought I'd share with you a few of my "hang ups" and how I'm trying to turn my thoughts around.

Dear eyes,

I'm sorry that you've cried so many times,I think I made you wake up too many mornings all bloodshot and grey,when you should of been glowing and full of life.I can't believe I used to go online and research coloured contacts so that I could be the perfect blue eyed blonde that I'd always wanted to be.It was with you that I got to experience my wedding and my newly improved life with all of the vibrancy that I had wished for ,and I'm forever grateful for that.I'm very lucky that you're in good health and I'm going to make sure that I look after you more.If I knew what eyeshadow to wear,I'd dress you up all the time! (I'm getting quite good at eyeliner flicks.)

Dear Thighs,

I spent so many hours as a teenager Googling "thigh exercises" and using horrible 80's style exercise equipment like  thigh toners until exhaustion,in order to achieve the "perfect" thin legs.It was never enough though,I have a horrible memory of walking into my GCSE exams and people making comments about my "thunder thighs" and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.I'm so sorry that I tried to mould you to fit what other people told me you should be.It's only recently I've been able to wear shorts (albeit pyjama shorts at home!) but I'm getting comfortable with the idea that my thighs are great friends! 

Dear freckles,

I still remember how much it stung to cover you in lemon juice and hope that that I would wake up and you would be gone.Also why are you considered an "imperfection", along with stretchmarks,scars and blemishes?  (all of which I have or have had),it's easy to see why I've felt like I've been made entirely of flaws.I would painstakingly apply layers of foundation to you and pray that it stayed on day,only to be embarrassed if someone mentioned you.I think it didn't help that I didn't see other people with freckles growing up,but I was so inspired when the lovely Jade Thompson won BINTM! Now I try not to wear so much foundation and make sure to wear SPF so I don't burn (which would be constantly.)

I know some of these things might appear really insignificant,but I think we really look at ourselves under a scrutinising microscope sometimes and it's easy to not to see the bigger picture.I am not my eyes,thighs or freckles but I am a person who has dreams and ambitions and I'm not going to let how I feel about myself sometimes stop me from doing what I want all the time.

This has been very therapeutic! I'd love to hear anyone else's letters to their bodies.

*If you enjoy connecting with me and reading my posts,I would really appreciate any nominations for "Best Newcomer" in the Cosmo Blog Awards with Next *

                                  

How to // Deal with Street Harassment

via thenewagenda.net

Street harassment is unfortunately very common, and most women experience it at some point in their life (more than 80% worldwide according to stopstreetharrasment.org).Often dismissed as "just fun" or "boys being boys", it can be really intimidating and upsetting for someone to approach you or make comments in the street.It's definitely a feminist and human rights issue as it is objectifying to women and takes away our right to be outside comfortably and without fear.When men go outside alone it's fine,but when women do it they are told to "be careful".I'm going to share some tips with you on how to safely handle street harassment.

*Of course there is a big difference between compliments and street harassment.It's your call on what makes you uncomfortable.*

What is Street Harassment?

• Unwanted sexual comments
• Stalking
• Leering & groping
• Indecent exposure & public masturbation
• Catcalls (whistling and remarks etc..)

This list isn't exhaustive,but these are the most common forms.Street harassment is basically any unwanted attention that you receive that invades your personal space.It is disrespectful,unnerving and can often have a huge effect on your emotional state. 

Top tips for dealing with Street harassment

1.Your safety always comes first.Don't approach the person if you feel at risk,walk away.

If you feel you can approach the person;

2.Project confident body language.Stand tall,look the harasser in the eye and speak in a loud,clear voice.Show them that you are self assured and not scared (even if you feel uncomfortable.)

Some statements that you could use are;

"Stop doing x/y/z"
"Stop harassing women.We don't like it"
"This man is doing x/y/z" (call them out to others and make them feel embarrassed by their behaviour.)
"Doing x/y/z is wrong/disrespectful.Stop" (Let them know you will not tolerate this.)

3.Speak in a neutral yet assertive tone as that will project confidence and not antagonise the harasser.Don't swear or become angry as this could make the person respond negatively.

4.You have the power to completely ignore them if you want to.You don't have to answer their questions,and you can decide when to end the dialogue,if you want to call them out.

5.If you want to,you can report any incidences to your local Police Depot.If the harasser was in a car or had an obvious uniform on,you could take down their registration number to pass on to the Police, and/or report them to their employer.


I hope this has helped you feel more confident in dealing with uncomfortable situations,and remember your safety and well being always comes first! Only do what you feel comfortable with,and of course there is no right or wrong way to respond.I know it can be frustrating but by reacting appropriately,we can make sure that they get the message and that we remain safe.

Have you ever encountered street harassment? Do you have any tips?